A Demoralizing Sunday

</element><element id="paragraph-1" type="body"><![CDATA[ Having faith is one thing. Having faith in people is another.

I will begin with a story that only a few have not heard. In a Manhattan a person was being mugged on a crowded subway. No one moved. No one helped. It is what psychologists describe as a "division of responsibility," each person waiting for the other to act first. It is what people like myself call "immoral."

Returning home from spending hours at the Perry County Beauty Pageant, which was very well done by the way, I found myself craving peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with nachos and salsa on the side. I had jelly and I had salsa, but I had to drive to Wal-Mart to get the other two. It was going to be a fun and tasty night until I reached the section of Washington Street that was in front of the car wash nearest McDonalds. A cat, who had been sitting behind a telephone pole, darted into the street, and my reflexes failed me.

To the owners, if any, to a black cat with white stripes that lives near that area of Washington, you have the full right to call, 542-2133, and ream me. I am responsible.

However, to be honest, after striking the animal I drove slowly in the right lane thinking, "I should turn back. But if I just keep going, I'll make it home, and nothing will come of it." Which is true, except for the fact that I would still have to deal with myself. If I had just kept going, it would not have left my mind. So I drove around the block, took a second pass past the animal to eliminate the portion of my brain thinking, "There is a chance that it is alright," and parked on a side street to Washington.

I walked half a block to the scene. I know that it was extremely dumb of me to handle a random animal, let alone one with open wounds, put there wasn't anything I could say to convince myself not to do it. What had happened to this animal was my responsibility. I picked it up.. I passed three younger girls on the sidewalk that looked like they were in grade school. They said, "Hi," as I passed them. I could barely mumble out a response. I carried the cat to my car and laid it in the grass. The animal needed to be buried and any other time I've buried an animal it's been wrapped in a towel. So I thought to myself, "Instead of driving all the way across town back home to get one, surely someone in one of these homes has a towel they do not want. It will get the job done faster." After stopping at three houses and a Laundromat, it became apparent that either everyone loved their towels or simply didn't have any. I did not ask which.

With the animal safe from any more damage, I drove back home, got a towel, returned to the animal, wrapped it up and placed it in my trunk. You know, just like people do with bodies in the movies. It was then that it occurred to me that maybe the police department could help me take care of the animal. I drove to the station next to the library and walked inside (without the cat). I told the dispatcher in there that I had hit a cat and it was in my trunk and I needed help. He informed me that most of the animal places were probably closed and that if it was injured that my best bet would be to call the number on the animal hospital sign. Forcing my jaw to move I told him that it was not injured, it was dead.

His reply, and I quote, "If it's dead, just put it in the dumpster. It doesn't matter anymore."

I turned around, got in my car and left. I drove to home of my life-long friend, GT Purcell, and asked if he would hold a flashlight for me for about half an hour. He did not question it, instead he said it would be no problem. So for thirty minutes, while he was holding a flashlight and I was digging, we spoke about the incident. It is because of him that, although I still can't sleep, I can at least be awake without my thoughts eating me alive.

People often ask, "Why did God do this?" or, "If there is a God how could this happen?" Well, I don't have an answer. But GT did say this, "If the cat was going to get hit, at least it got hit by a person that wouldn't run off on it." It didn't make me feel better about myself, because there was that moment where I had considered running off, but it did make me feel better about the situation.